If walks feel like a tug-of-war, it’s not stubbornness, it’s a training opportunity.
The “Stubborn Dog” Myth
Many dog owners describe their pets as stubborn when they don’t respond, ignore cues, or seem to do the opposite of what’s asked. But here’s the truth: dogs aren’t being stubborn. They’re communicating through their behavior, and what may look like defiance is often confusion, fear, stress, or unmet needs.
Labeling a dog as stubborn can create frustration and damage the human-animal bond. Instead, understanding the why behind the behavior unlocks more effective training and a stronger partnership.
Why “Stubborn” Isn’t Accurate
Dogs Don’t Plot Against Us
Unlike people, dogs don’t scheme or act out of spite. When a dog doesn’t respond, it’s not because they’re trying to get under your skin, it’s because something in the environment, their training history, or their emotional state is interfering.
Stubbornness vs. Communication
Every behavior serves a purpose. Your dog may be:
- Stressed or anxious (noise, new environment, unfamiliar people)
- Confused (cue isn’t clear or consistent)
- Distracted (other stimuli more rewarding than you)
- Physically uncomfortable (pain, illness, fatigue)
None of these are “stubbornness.” They’re communication.
Common Situations Misinterpreted as Stubbornness
1. The Dog That Won’t Come When Called
Owners often call this stubborn. In reality, recall failure usually means:
- Competing rewards (squirrel, smell, another dog) are stronger than the recall history.
- The recall cue hasn’t been reinforced enough.
- Past punishment or negative associations with coming back make recall less desirable.
Training tip: Reinforce recalls with high value rewards every time, especially in distracting environments.
2. The Dog That Pulls on Leash
Pulling is not stubbornness; it’s physics and instinct. Dogs naturally walk faster than humans, and the environment is filled with fascinating smells. Without consistent training, pulling becomes self-rewarding.
Training tip: Use positive reinforcement and structured loose-leash walking exercises, not choke chains or prong collars.
3. The Dog That Ignores “Sit”
If your dog won’t sit, it may be because:
- They’re too distracted by the environment.
- They don’t understand the cue in that context.
- They’re physically uncomfortable (e.g., hip pain, arthritis).
Training tip: Generalize cues in multiple environments and check for underlying health issues if refusal persists.
4. The Dog That “Refuses” to Get in the Car
Instead of being stubborn, your dog may be fearful due to:
- Motion sickness from previous rides.
- Loud or traumatic experiences tied to the car.
- Anxiety about where the car goes (vet visits).
Training tip: Desensitize with small steps; approaching the car, then hopping in for treats, then short pleasant rides. Take them fun places like the park or for a pup cup.
The Science of Learning: Dogs Aren’t Born Knowing Our Rules
Operant Conditioning Basics
Dogs learn through consequences:
- Behaviors rewarded will increase.
- Behaviors ignored or not reinforced will fade.
- Behaviors punished may stop in the moment but often resurface, sometimes worse.
If your dog repeats an unwanted behavior, it’s because it’s been reinforced, intentionally or unintentionally.
The Power of Reinforcement History
A dog that listens in the living room but not at the park isn’t stubborn; they simply don’t have enough reinforcement history in distracting environments. Training must progress gradually, layering in distractions over time.
How Words Shape Our Relationship with Dogs
Calling a dog stubborn shifts blame onto the animal and often leads to harsher methods. Instead, reframing the narrative changes everything:
- From “stubborn” → “confused.” How can I teach this more clearly?
- From “stubborn” → “distracted.” How can I make myself more rewarding?
- From “stubborn” → “anxious.” How can I help my dog feel safe?
This perspective fosters patience and problem-solving instead of frustration.
Force-Free Training: The Alternative to Stubborn Labels
What Is Force-Free Training?
Force-free, fear-free, positive reinforcement training uses rewards, management, and science-based methods. Instead of punishing behaviors we dislike, we teach and reinforce alternatives we do like.
Why It Works Better
- Builds trust instead of fear.
- Encourages dogs to think and problem-solve.
- Creates lasting behavior change.
- Reduces stress for both the human and the dog.
Practical Steps to Overcome the “Stubborn” Mindset
1. Check Health First
Rule out medical causes before assuming behavior is training-related. Pain, thyroid issues, or even ear infections can affect responsiveness.
2. Manage the Environment
Reduce distractions or triggers while building up skills gradually.
3. Use High-Value Reinforcers
Experiment with different rewards: treats, toys, praise, sniffing breaks, or play. Motivation varies by dog.
4. Be Consistent With Cues
Use the same word, tone, and hand signal every time. Inconsistency confuses dogs and undermines training.
5. Build Gradually
Don’t expect your dog to perform flawlessly in every situation overnight. Proof behaviors step by step, from quiet spaces to busy environments.
Case Study: From “Stubborn” to Responsive
A Labrador named Max was labeled stubborn because he wouldn’t come when called at the park. His owners scolded him when he returned late, making recall even less appealing.
When training shifted to positive reinforcement, with high-value treats, enthusiastic praise, and gradual practice in low-distraction areas, Max transformed. Within weeks, his recall was reliable, and his bond with his owners deepened.
This wasn’t stubbornness, it was simply a lack of clarity and a previous learning history.
When to Seek Professional Help
If you’ve tried adjusting your training approach and your dog still struggles, consult a force-free, certified dog trainer. Professional guidance can help uncover underlying issues and create a personalized plan. Avoid trainers who label dogs as dominant or stubborn; these outdated approaches can harm both your dog and your relationship.
Your Dog Is Communicating, Not Defying
Dogs aren’t stubborn, they’re honest. Their behavior reveals their needs, emotions, and learning history. When we shift from blaming the dog to understanding them, training becomes easier, frustration fades, and relationships flourish.
Next time your dog doesn’t respond, ask yourself: What is my dog telling me? The answer might surprise you, and it’s almost never “I’m being stubborn.”